HW 57- Parenting

Their are endless theories on parenting today. In the old days, parenting was not as much of a science, but a hit or miss style of raising a child based on the values, goals and expectations of the parents. Since my father was a child, the world has changed, and women do not still assume 100% of the responsibility of raising a child. It has become more common today for the mother and father to take, more or less half of the responsibility each. The question still remains, how should children be raised? To be honest, I don't really know.

I have seen the effects of over-parenting, and the effects of a lack of parenting whatsoever. The amount that a parent can do to shape the life of a child is minimal at best in my opinion. The fact is, you can teach your child not to steal, but they might still steal.

Growing up, I naturally had an analytical mind, probably due in part to being raised by a clinical psychologist for a mother. This made me grow up to be relatively intellectual (not to be self-aggrandizing). My father spent alot of time trying to impress upon me the importance of the arts. For that reason, I grew up to appreciate the arts, and took an interest in the history from where the art came.

Jakob Friedman as I am today, came into being over the last 17 and 1/2 years. I can trace virtually all of my interests back to one of my parents or the other. I feel like to a certain extent, I have learned everything my parents have tried to teach me, but to a certain extent, I have hand picked what I use in my life, and what I don't. I think that this is what parenting comes right down to.

As a parent, the basic goal is to shape your children in the image of what you believe is a potentially very successful human being. Passing on knowledge, teaching physical fitness, and giving your child a moral code for their life is what I want to accomplish as a parent.

Source:http://www.deepsouthmoms.com/2009/08/when-parenting-theories-backfire.html

After reading this article, it struck me immediately that these kids understood that choice isn't really choice at all sometimes. The fact that most kids when presented with the question; "would you like a red or blue cup?", would just pick either red or blue. These kids remembered that they had the option of a yellow cup despite the fact that their mother only offered them red or blue.

To a certain extent however, I think that this could be a potentially destructive mindset for a person in this world. To disregard the choices presented to you, is pretty much to ignore the entire realm of what is realistic or possible. In the world, this is a common problem that causes people to buy 100,000 dollar cars on an 80,000 dollar salary. When people are living with their own idea of what makes up the realm of what is possible, they are living in an alternate reality.


Source: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T130300.asp

This particular piece was interesting to me because it really cleared up a few misconceptions that I had about mother-baby bonding. I was under the impression that their was a great deal of importance to the first moments of bonding between a mother and child, that it would determine the rest of the child's relationship with the mother. According to this article though, the bonding between a mother and child is not instantaneous. Instead it says, that bonding is a long process that involves building trust, creating a sense of dependance and reliance, while encouraging the child to explore and discover the world for themselves.

Much like with any adult relationship, an infant builds an opinion of someone based on their actions and experiences together. A mother who is able to effectively bond with her child has emotionally connected with him or her, and has made the child feel comfortable and safe while in the mother's care. Since babies are seeking affirmation from those around them that they are significant, that they are here on earth with the rest of us, it is logical that an important part of bonding is also making the child feel secure. By letting the child know that his/her cries for attention are being heard and understood, the child becomes much closer with the mother, creating a mutual understanding that the child is aware of.